Saturday, July 25, 2015
Friday, July 10, 2015
Memory
How fast the days go now.
How swift time passes.
How breathtaking the speed of my love for you.
How each click of the shutter reminds me of how little there will be left one day to remind me of what once I knew.
How swift time passes.
How breathtaking the speed of my love for you.
How each click of the shutter reminds me of how little there will be left one day to remind me of what once I knew.
Monday, May 4, 2015
Mother's Day
Mother's Day.
A day to reflect on what I believed it would be like to be your mother and what it actually is to be your mother. You see girls, I am always going to have wishes for you, paths I think you should take and strengths I wish for you to cultivate. And you, both of you in all of your breathtakingly beautiful existence, are always going to have your own needs and desires. Sometimes we will live in harmony and sometimes we won't. But it's really up to you, Loves, what you make of this one wild and precious life. Never be afraid to stay true to the journey your heart leads you on. Nothing I could ever dream up for you would ever eclipse the happiness you will find when you remain true to yourselves.
Maggie.
I see so much of myself reflected in you. So wise beyond your years with those inquisitive eyes always observing, always evaluating. You are in constant study of your own reflection, not from vanity, but in observance of what the myriad prism of human emotion looks like from your own soul looking out. I worry that you will be too hard on yourself, that you will find yourself stuck on the mountain side as you claw your way fist over hand to the lofty goals you will set for yourself. Failure may seem paralyzing but go easy Love, on yourself and on others. You will find joy in the process of climbing. I see it in the freedom and confidence you feel when you are swept away on the stage of your imagination. Trust your instincts and remember that your creativity and your heart are all your own. Guard them well.
Harper.
Such curiosity and stubbornness. What a sure-footed creature you are. You literally energize us all as you bound about all sly and nimble and quick. You seem so tiny in your physical presence but your energy simmers visible just beneath the surface at all times, barely contained. You are never to be under-estimated or counted out. You are tough and vibrant and your eyes shine bright with love and mischief. Where your sister seems at once familiar and kindred to me, you are always a mystery. You love dirt and your rock collection and chasing adopted pets and wild animals alike, as if you were born directly from earth and sunshine. You are both my heart and a mystery to me. Where I can be sure of your sister's rhythms, you constantly surprise.
I worry that you will be limited by my mothering. I worry that you will stick too close or that I will be unable to instill in you the confidence to go forth with a steady hand and an open heart. I worry that my love will be too much, or not enough. I worry that everything I instill in you will cave against the crashing tides that are the coming of age. I worry that no matter how many times I stroke your silky little cheeks and tell you how beautiful and courageous and wildly capable and free you are, that being brave and kind and true to yourselves will be just as difficult for you as it has been for every woman who has walked before you. I worry because that's what Mama's do. They carry the worry so that you can chase the light without the weight upon your own backs.
So for my Mother's Day wish. Fly free my Loves. Fly free, light and with all the promise and adventure the world can offer you.
A day to reflect on what I believed it would be like to be your mother and what it actually is to be your mother. You see girls, I am always going to have wishes for you, paths I think you should take and strengths I wish for you to cultivate. And you, both of you in all of your breathtakingly beautiful existence, are always going to have your own needs and desires. Sometimes we will live in harmony and sometimes we won't. But it's really up to you, Loves, what you make of this one wild and precious life. Never be afraid to stay true to the journey your heart leads you on. Nothing I could ever dream up for you would ever eclipse the happiness you will find when you remain true to yourselves.
Maggie.
I see so much of myself reflected in you. So wise beyond your years with those inquisitive eyes always observing, always evaluating. You are in constant study of your own reflection, not from vanity, but in observance of what the myriad prism of human emotion looks like from your own soul looking out. I worry that you will be too hard on yourself, that you will find yourself stuck on the mountain side as you claw your way fist over hand to the lofty goals you will set for yourself. Failure may seem paralyzing but go easy Love, on yourself and on others. You will find joy in the process of climbing. I see it in the freedom and confidence you feel when you are swept away on the stage of your imagination. Trust your instincts and remember that your creativity and your heart are all your own. Guard them well.
Harper.
Such curiosity and stubbornness. What a sure-footed creature you are. You literally energize us all as you bound about all sly and nimble and quick. You seem so tiny in your physical presence but your energy simmers visible just beneath the surface at all times, barely contained. You are never to be under-estimated or counted out. You are tough and vibrant and your eyes shine bright with love and mischief. Where your sister seems at once familiar and kindred to me, you are always a mystery. You love dirt and your rock collection and chasing adopted pets and wild animals alike, as if you were born directly from earth and sunshine. You are both my heart and a mystery to me. Where I can be sure of your sister's rhythms, you constantly surprise.
I worry that you will be limited by my mothering. I worry that you will stick too close or that I will be unable to instill in you the confidence to go forth with a steady hand and an open heart. I worry that my love will be too much, or not enough. I worry that everything I instill in you will cave against the crashing tides that are the coming of age. I worry that no matter how many times I stroke your silky little cheeks and tell you how beautiful and courageous and wildly capable and free you are, that being brave and kind and true to yourselves will be just as difficult for you as it has been for every woman who has walked before you. I worry because that's what Mama's do. They carry the worry so that you can chase the light without the weight upon your own backs.
So for my Mother's Day wish. Fly free my Loves. Fly free, light and with all the promise and adventure the world can offer you.
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Long Winters
Long winters play games with you. They borrow time until you are so weary with the relentless waves of snow and bitter cold that you begin to convince yourself the sun will never rise again. Long winters make you believe that no matter how cold and alone you are, you had better stay put, because to venture out is to chance a place that is even colder. A place where you will be even more alone.
But we clear the path. We clear it over and over because we have faith that one day the sun will once again rise high enough in the sky to sustain our efforts and illuminate our way, even if only until the fury of the next winter storm erases our effort. Long winters test patience but build it at the very same time. It's in the bitter cold of the longest winters that we experience faith. And sometimes faith means believing you can find your way again, no matter how many times it is lost to you and no matter how many times you need to dig yourself out. Sometimes the winter is so long that the banks rise high enough to cast shadows that stretch far beyond the point where we can see. That's ok. That's where faith takes over.
Put one foot in front of the other. Take the next breath. Make the next best decision.
Take the next step.
Faith is knowing that the next step is the only one you have.
But we clear the path. We clear it over and over because we have faith that one day the sun will once again rise high enough in the sky to sustain our efforts and illuminate our way, even if only until the fury of the next winter storm erases our effort. Long winters test patience but build it at the very same time. It's in the bitter cold of the longest winters that we experience faith. And sometimes faith means believing you can find your way again, no matter how many times it is lost to you and no matter how many times you need to dig yourself out. Sometimes the winter is so long that the banks rise high enough to cast shadows that stretch far beyond the point where we can see. That's ok. That's where faith takes over.
Put one foot in front of the other. Take the next breath. Make the next best decision.
Take the next step.
Faith is knowing that the next step is the only one you have.
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