Saturday, December 28, 2013

Where Dreams Await

She won't be little forever.  I get that.  But she still fits in my lap.  She still uses a pacifier to sooth herself and she still fits in a size 2T.  So she's still little...for now.  

I still see her as an extension of me.  Not yet giving her credit for being a fully developed little soul that is independent of her mama.  So seeing her on a big stage?  At a preschool Christmas concert?  

Looking for direction and guidance from a loving teacher as I sit in the audience playing the minor role of spectator during one of her life experiences aches in such a lovely way.  In fact, it splits my heart wide open for her.









'In your light I learn how to love.
In your beauty, how to make poems.

You dance inside my chest,
where no one sees you,

but sometimes I do,
and that sight becomes this art.

Rumi





And then I am reminded that this little piece of magic still has a few precious moments left with her mama before her independence pulls her from my grasp.



Where dreams await...





Sunday, December 22, 2013

In Between

I spent most of Saturday in Friday night's yoga pants studying my littlest and realized something.  'In between' is a season of its own.  The quiet space where one door is quietly closing and you can just barely make out the light spilling in from the one that's opening.   Legs lean out, words start spilling from tiny rosebud lips, and if you blink, you may miss it, like waking up on a cold fall morning and seeing bare branches and wondering how you missed the fire falling from the trees.

The time slips so fast in between and leaves me quietly aching for the moments that have past and cautiously laying faith in the ones that are waiting for us.  With age and time we shed our skins and reinvent ourselves time and time again.

The in betweens.

The place where grace lies waiting for us in all that is unknown.













Saturday, December 7, 2013

It Was A Good Day

I read a lovely blog this week (that I should properly give credit to if I could, but I can't, because the frantic pace of the holiday season turns my memory to mush...which brings me to my point.) It was all about being the mama during the holidays and it basically spelled out this, "You don't need to do everything everyday, you just need to do one thing, preferably the one that does not bring you to the point of yelling at your children to FOR THE LOVE OF JESUS' BIRTHDAY HAVE FUN.'

It hit home.

True gratitude belongs in the moment.  You need to settle with it and let it rest over you.  It can't be rushed.  It doesn't flourish in hindsight but while right there, bathed in the light and the love of the moment.  Live your life in the present, doing the one thing.  Not the next thing, not the thing you are late to, not the thing you forgot, not the thing you missed.  It belongs in step with the thing you are doing right now.  Love all of it.