It's The Noise

It's the noise.

Mother's Day again and I'm struggling to find the right words to use to tell you what I want to tell you. I'm struggling to explain what separates my time with you from a time before you. Trying to find a way to make you understand what these days as your mother are like.

It's the noise.

 The steady thump of your feet down the hall, more reliable than the sun in the morning. The sound of your sweet breath in my ear right next to my bed before I've even opened my eyes.

"Mama?"

It's The Noise.

Curious George in the background as I wash my face and the sounds of you beginning to wake in the early hours. That grating cartoon voice steady and constant. Even when our mornings aren't as steady.
Mornings can begin with tickles and laughs and still dissolve into tears before Annoying George has had a chance to learn his morning lesson.

The scrape of the spoon on the sides of the container as I pray there is still enough left in there for you to have your usual 'chunk of banilla yogurt' for breakfast even though I misjudged the grocery list.. again.. this week.

The giggles and the whining as you two fight upstairs over the covers and cold feet and who gets to pick the next cartoon.

It's the noise.


Your littles voices sing to me from the back seat. Arguments over who is taller, smarter, bigger.

Was I a star in the sky before I was born, Mama?

Why did she get to be a star before I did! I wanted to be the first star!

.....Are we late?

It's the noise.

The crying and the screaming and the laughter and the tears and the never ending noise.

The arguing and the sound of cheap toy guitars and your 'concerts'. The giggles and the whispers and the shrieks and the indignant cries of what is fair and what is not.


Someday it will stop. Someday it will be quiet. You won't breathe your tiny, hot breath next to my ear at dawn and you won't care how much 'banilla' yogurt is in my fridge.


Someday I'll close my eyes in the quiet

And I'll remember the noise.